SISW INDIE WORKSHOPS

-

"Retaso", "Kiss Meeh Manananggal Meeh" and "SEB Cybergame of Love"

3 final projects from SISW Graduates:

March 11, 2008

INDIE MOVIE ACTING WORKSHOP ENROLLMENT NOW OPEN!
Enroll now at SINEHAN INDIE SUMMER WORKSHOPS
from the makers of “DUDA”, “BATHHOUSE”, “BILOG”, “METLOGS”, “MORENO”, “RETASO”, “PITONG DALAGITA”

BE AN INDIE MOVIE STAR!!!

ACT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA EVERY SESSION. STAR IN 2 SHORT FILMS AND
A FULL LENGTH MOVIE AS GRADUATION PROJ. WORKSHOP SCHED IS 2ND WEEK APRIL TIL MAY. MON-WED-FRI 5PM – 9PM, Q.C., fee only P6,000.00
Contact: 09294703059 or 09234796804 OR VISIT THE SINEHAN OFFICE FOR ENROLLMENT at Unit 401, Wil-VIC Building 2, #96 V. Luna Rd. Ext., Diliman, QC

********

Last summer of 2007, we officially began the Sinehan Indie Summer Workshops and offered two short-term courses: the indie movie beginner's production workshop for students and the indie movie acting workshop.

Both workshops covered not only an extensive overview of indie movie production but had the students participate in several production projects.

The final projects were four full length indie digital movies:

"Retaso" (Fragments)

starring Ray-an Dulay, Angela Antonio,
Andro Morgan and Ms Ynez Veneracion

"Kiss Meeh Manananggal Me"
starring Alysa Alano, JV Roxas, Rey Pumaloy

"SEB Cyber Game of Love"Arlan Degullacion, student, in his bed scene with
Julia Clarete in Cybergame of Love

"Iglap" (Sudden)
starring and introducing Arjay Reyes

This 2008, we will again hold the SISW for students and those who want to venture into independent digital video moviemaking. A course for those who want to perform in indie movies will also be offered. You may contact 09276587655 or 09294703059 for details.

Queeriosity Project

COVERBOYZ FANTASIES

coming soon from Queeriosity Video Project, another direct-to-video vignettes of young men,
those who have appeared as models for both high end and low end Philippine boy mags...
Arjay Reyes aka Xander

this young man's name is Arjay Reyes/Xander.
Coverboyz Fantasies Video will be available in the market soon. Sponsors of the project will get advance viewing privileges in selected exclusive clubs where the video will have a soft launch...

Hope our brothers in the community who are bootlegging other titles will spare locally produced movies if they can't reall stop themselves...

Simpleng Awit at Bukas Muli

I'm working on the script for the Bathhouse - The Musical movie and I'm posting the theme song that was supposedly composed by the lead character Rico in the movie Bathhouse (portrayed by then 18 year old Ray-an Dulay). Immediately after the movie was shown in 2004, I received several emails from those who saw the movie and they asked where they could get a cd copy of the theme song.


The lyrics goes...


Simpleng Awit (lyrics by Crisaldo Pablo and music by Ato Del Rosario)

I
Simple lang ang awit ko, bulong ng nadarama ko
Kahit isang sukling ngiti, ang aking hinihingi
Habang buhay magsasama, habambuhay magsasama

II
Simple lang ang awit ko, bulong ng iniisip ko
Ang titigan mo sana, at magpakilala ka
Minahal ka ng walang hanggan, minahal ka na ng walang hanggan


Refrain:
Kahit isang gabi, mayakap ka ng isang saglit
Mga labi'y magkadikit, at sana'y iyong mahalin
Makakaasa ka, na bukas ay, maalala pa
At laging madarama, halik ng gabing naroon ka...


III
Simple lang ang awit ko, bulong ng minimithi ko
Ang lapitan mo sana, at mayakap pa kita
Ngunit bakit di magkasama, bakit di magsasama?


Refrain:
Kahit isang gabi, mayakap ka ng isang saglit
Mga labi'y magkadikit, at sana'y iyong mahalin
Makakaasa ka, na bukas ay, maalala pa
At laging madarama, halik ng gabing naroon ka...


And for the dark souls, here's the reason why the character Cris, Rico's love interest (portrayed in the movie by Jett Alcantara) has been cynical about true love...



Bukas Muli (lyrics by Crisaldo Pablo and music by Ato del Rosario)


Alam ko na pano nagsimula
Ang walang hanggang katapusan
Paikot-ikot lang, walang pinuntahan

Nadama ko na bawat ikot
ng walang hanggang katapusan
Paikot-ikot lang, walang kahulugan


Sa piling mo, ako'y namamatay nawawalang saysay
Sa bawat oras na kapiling, sa bawat sandaling magkasiping
Sa bawat halik ng katotohanang
Bukas muling maghihiwalay...

Do you love me?

Character Von Ragana asks his boy-love Erik in the digital movie "Duda" (Doubt): "... but do you love me... I mean, do you love me?" In the scene, Erik is starry eyed and he does not even have say it because his entire face is declaring his love for Von, but the latter even has to ask it. In the movie, Erik has a committed relationship with Cris which makes Von, the third party. When he asks the question, you begin to ask, is he just playing with Erik or he is, like Cris, in doubt, of the very young man's heart.

"Duda" was made in 2002 and just a few nights ago this February 2008, my old friend T and I went to talking about his partner (-then-ex-then partner again-then ex again-and so on and so forth) who to my opinion has been taking him for a roller coaster relationship.

They look cool together and he is as cute and charming as my friend T. I never witnessed them argue nor fight so I was just basing my opinion on what my friend told me. Well, aren't we supposed to be biased for our friends when it comes to their relationships?

Anyway, since last year, each time I asked my friend about his new relationship (T had an almost twelve years of live together relationship which eventually turned into a non-exclusive sexually open relationship until the other guy found someone he felt was worthy of dumping my friend T for), he would always mention about their recent argument and it was always about petty things that boiled down to him testing T's feelings.

The guy seemed to always doubt if T was really in love with him. Let me make this clear. I meant that the guy seemed to always require T to declare verbally that he loves him before everything would be solved. Other days he would just disappear and that left my friend hanging. All the time. The guy would be sweet then in a snap would find a reason to feel bad or offended about petty things and he would nag my friend or he would just walk away.

T was happy with the guy specially when they were okay because T really had feelings for him. And T really liked the sweetness and thoughtfulness of the guy.

But each time the guy was angry, T just couldn't see the declared love in his angry eyes nor in hurtful words. It was as if the guy never felt any of the positive declarations and insinuations about his love for T.

This happened several times in cycles that the last time the guy did the same thing, my friend didn't exert extra effort to appease him anymore.

My friend made it clear to me that he loved the guy. However, he just couldn't go through the rollercoaster ride anymore. And so when, just like before, after a few days, the guy started texting him again, T just gave a cold shoulder.

Of course, two weeks later, the shoulder gave way. They seemed to be back again and the guy seemed to be more cautious and maybe more considerate this time.

But I sought the permission of my friend to be able to write about this because there is a point I intended to raise with that guy.

I like him. My friend loves him. He is nice. So be assured that I will not be a b---.

If I had a chance to tell him this. My spiel will go this way: "T has been my friend for more than a decade now and I've seen him through the highs and lows of his queer life. I've seen his dreams, his passions, his convictions and his persona twist and blend to the times and to the needs of the one relationship that he, and even I, thought would be for life. That relationship that I witnessed had my friend metamorphose into someone he was not, just to keep it. For a while, it was even my model for long lasting relationships. But, one dashing third party ended it and the dasher was on the side of my friend's partner.

That was some twelve or more years of a relationship where my friend had to adjust and evolve just to prove that indeed he loved the guy and the guy loved him. Then one night, incidents proved that despite everything, the guy declared he did not love my friend anymore.

A year later, my friend, (who is very attractive so let's say there were many guys who lined up for the opening) had another crisis when his mom, our beloved tita, had a stroke.

Its been two months now, I think. And my friend has been personally taking care of his mother. Attending to her medicines, her bathing and her sustenance. This is the time that he has to focus on his energy and he has to find his light so that nothing, as much as possible, nothing negative will be passed on to his mom so she will not be upset or affected.

And here you come, with all your love for T. I will not question that. But please, stop doubting if he feels anything for you. I mean, if there are times that you think he is taking you for granted, remember his twelve years of having to prove his love for someone who eventually left. And also imagine how much he has to divert his attention to his mom.

And here you are, coming into his house. Feeling sorry if he didn't give you enough time or if he didn't verbalize his feelings for you.

Did you really come to see him because he loves you? Or, just like everybody else, you come to see him because you love him and to just see his face makes you happy?

My point now is, I was like you. I would ask to see someone I love and I would go out with him and in the middle of the date, I would expect that he would prove to me his love by manifesting it through words or through very clear gestures.

Usually, this kind of thinking, gets the relationship into trouble.
Try to see it from a different perspective and there may be less drama.

Stop doubting and stop asking for proof. Just focus on the fact that you come to see him because you really love him and love to be with him. Fact is, if you don't have feelings for him, I'm sure you will not bother.

So when you are together again, remember, that you are with him because you love him more than because he loves you.

You are actually very fortunate that someone like T can suffer twelve years for love and will devote time to take care of someone he loves when the person is incapacitated.

These two are clear manifestations of true love. The kind of love we rarely see and experience. So if you just open your mind and trust him, you too, might experience the kind of true love that he gives...

are you worth it?

Its February 14 now and so may I greet you a Happy Valentine’s Day as cheerful as the commercialized concept of this celebration is and may I wish you to have something exciting and truly marvelous today, with or without someone else to validate all the questions you have about whether you are worthy. Now, that word: “worthy” or “worth” is something truly heavy. To not have it is like to not have any reason to exist in any possible plane. Is it worth it? Are you worth it? I guess, for me, the answer will always be: Yes. Everything, every pain, every foolishness, every stumble, every negative word that has been hurled against you upfront or behind your back is worth it. I don’t seem to make sense, right? Well, that’s the way I see things in my life now. Everything that comes your way is exactly what you need at the moment and if you just embrace it and learn from it, you will always win. Who said that if too many people don’t like you makes you a looser? Well, how many people had Jesus Christ crucified during his prime? Who said that if have gotten through too many failed relationships makes you a looser? Well, how many people who are in a “so-called loving partnership/relationship” really have a “loving” relationship? I remember several years ago when I was with a female pal and I was wallowing in being single and alone and about how even one of our gay friends already has several years to his “live together” relationship. I kept mumbling about not finding the one for me until my girl friend interrupted with a “in those several years, I guess only two or less will be what you can declare a true relationship between this friend of ours and his boyfriend!” Ha! So I stopped being silly. Of course, I became foolish, really foolish later when I got myself into turbulent relationships. May I say, I have been to hell and back, then to hell again, and back again, and… alright, it was worth it! I gradually realized what it is I truly wanted. I learned to prioritize. I even learned to love myself, can you believe that?!!! The key to making it all worth it is to try to see things from varying perspectives. Always try, to not understand, but accept that everyone, just like you, have their own biases/prejudices. And if, they think that saying something truly nasty about you is what you deserve, let them have their time of day. What people hurl towards you is exactly who they are in the kind of world they deserve. If they believe that you did them something wrong premeditatively, then its because they see themselves as worthy of such plots in their world… It does not have to be true in yours… What you see and how you deal with your life is your declaration of the kind of space you are worthy of in this universe… Again, a truly deserved happy valentine’s for you…

are you happy now?

Met up with an old friend from up tonight. It's not like we haven't seen each other for ages, since we both work for the same network (though she's out of the country most of the time while I seldom go to the network's office.) Sipping coffee with another pretty thirty-something single mom, my old friend asked me: "what is your lesson in life so far?"

For you queer pals out there, you might say, it could be the moment that every beauty-pageant-loving-queer-guy had waited for: the moment someone asked you a philosophical question. A question you could answer with a witty statement worthy of the pageant-queen crown.

"What is your lesson in life, so far?"

I immediately answered her. Without really thinking about it, I told her, "Being happy is not about having a choice nor being able to get what you want. It is about accepting that what you can have at the moment is exactly how you need it at that time. So do not regret nor feel bitter about anything and try to enjoy your epiphanies."

Some of you might think that i was just trying to impress anybody including myself. But at that moment, I felt it was really like speaking from my heart.

Hours later, I went back to my independent movie production office-home, and looked at the clutter, the messy state of our ten-square-meters room. I thought about what i told my old friend earlier.

I saw the posters of the eight independent digital video movies that I have produced, written and directed and realized how little money I had from the beginning and until now. Way back in 2002, I was making some Sixty-thousand Pesos monthly. Now I don't have any idea if I was making any income each month. My contemporaries are now highly placed in major television networks while I would consider myself as a nobody up to this time.

Then my toy poodle Tupah started crying to call my attention. I tried to ignore her because I was trying to extract some tinge of regret from myself.

To be honest, I never saw myself as an artist, but, just a communicator with so little money and so much guts. I never won any of those high acclaims that other independent directors have won in international festivals abroad. But I kept making digital video movies.

I kept making the movies I wanted, even if several people even hated me for making movies that they considered to be far below their standards.

I kept making movies I wanted, even if my budget was far below the standard production-budget to afford a fifty-thousand pesos professional editor and the four-thousand per day professional cinematographer (dop).

I kept making movies I wanted, even if I didnt have a real set of creative production team of a professional or experienced line producer/manager, director of photography/cinematographer, production designer, editor, music scorer to make a professionally made movie.

I kept making movies I wanted, even if it it would mean I wouldnt have enough savings for my
hospitalization should I get into a health emergency.

I kept making movies I wanted, even if my love interests argued i never had time and then dumped me.

I kept making movies: "Duda" (Doubt), "Bathhouse", "Bilog" (Circles), "Metlogs", "Pitong Dalagita" (Seven Ladies), "Moreno" (Bronze), "Retaso" (Fragments), "Kiss Meeh Manananggal Me", "SEB Cyber Game of Love" and "Habi" (Weave).

And I have decided to make more: "Boylet", "Lansa" (Stench), "Showboyz", "Puerto Heat", "Ganda" (Beauty), "Maria Maria Marias", "Iglap" (Sudden), "Hinala" (Hunch)...

That's when I realized my lesson in life so far.

It was exactly as I said to my friend earlier and further... True bliss came into my life late, in my 39th year, because I have accepted and appreciated myself, even if many others didn't.

Because I began to accept and appreciate, I kept moving on, forward...

and I began to feel joy.

I then played with Tupah and had a good night of mindless chat with my "found family", Jojo and Rodel.

it begins here...

I don't know how to begin my "blogging"... so I'll just post my profile write up for my account in g4m...

every year something new comes your way, so please take the time to read...


dec 2005, the night i joined this site...

hi! thanks for dropping by. I'm 38 now. If you happened to have passed by several years ago, I would have been dying to make out with you. But I guess this time, its different. If its loneliness or boredom that brought you here, then, maybe I can share with you a thing or two. If you are for hookups, good luck to you. If you are still confused or in denial as to why you are here, well, life's a journey.

So thanks for passing by...

aug29,2006

39. waited 39 years. when i was 29 you came and it felt like heaven. heaven lasted three years. then a long pause. longing. desperation. going 30's made me scared as all my friends were turning almost two decades with the relationships that they had at the time... i was always left alone. so i tried to find you again. searched for you. then somehow i saw a glimpse of you that midnight in puerto galera. it was my big mistake, forcing it. making myself believe that it was you i found. but no matter how big the mistake i made, it was enough to move me to make my first full length digital movie. that movie is history now. then i saw the promised you again. but it was all a mistake. one big mistake because i rushed and forced it, your coming into my life... only to realize that it was never you...

so now, 39 years of waiting and believing that you will be coming... i think its time to hang up.

i long, still... i feel you are there. but does it still matter if i find you in this lifetime?

i will be leaving all these by my lonesome anyway.


Oct 30, 2007

Took me a while this year to write my insights now that i am 40. did you know that a lot of my passersby read my 2006 entry as something sad? when in fact for me it was something happy, something very neutral...

I guess, it will depend on how you have been and where you are coming from. So how you feel when you read 2006, will be how you saw and felt about your recent experiences or your most important past...

which is why, i write this... to tell you that you didnt make any mistakes. you didnt do anything wrong. i mean, none of those were intended to hurt me. and that i have not only forgiven you and, me... but i have also seen things from a different light.

we have made no mistakes. everything we have done and everyone who have crossed our path came in order for us to see how we have focused so much on the least important and almost lost what was always essential: true love...

this might scare you if i tell you that if you truly love, then life shouldn't stop for you, and the one you love... that you shouldn't force each other to commit... that you shouldn't be afraid that one day he may not see you again and be with someone else... true love will empower you that you can be by your lonesome and yet be happy with the good memories of the ones you loved, or should i say, the ones who helped you experience love, all the ideals and misconceptions of it...

so now i am in love... not the way that everyone sees it should be. but how i think true love should always be... something blissful yet never selfish because i am mostly single yet so committed to that one person who will complete me: no one else but i, me, myself... i was the one i was looking for after all...

and it helped a lot that one day, after being battered physically and emotionally by a partner, i decided that if i could not have the man i wanted then maybe i can have the next thing i wanted: making my own movies! so eight movies after, i am here, still single, yet very happy... yes, i do feel low sometimes but the ecstatic feeling of being finally complete without relying on someone else to make you feel happy, this is something that i pray others will eventually move on to, no matter how devastating, how painful, how tragic and traumatic their lovelives will be...

so i see you now, love, and i am happy to know that there are indeed others who are willing to be with me for the rest of their years to experience "life"...

i am taking my time now. 40. and the year is almost over. i wish you can be this happy.