Kagabi, ibinunyag ng aking kaibigan ang rason kung bakit sunod sunod ang raid ng mga blue bars at gay clubs. Ako'y tila nababagabag sa aking narinig... ahhh...kaya naman pala!
Pero, alam kong marami pa rin ang gustong pumunta sa mga ganitong lugar.
Kaya't heto ang mga dapat gawin tuwing may raid to ensure the safety and security of bar patrons and party goers, especially those who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT), from corrupt law enforcers / police, and criminals who pose as law enforcers.
Unang una, DO NOT PANIC!
1. Be polite and ask, "BAKIT PO?"
2. If s/he says, "Hinuhuli kita/Inaaresto kita/Dadalhin kita sa presinto/Iniimbitah an ka sa presinto," ask again, Bakit po? Ano po ang KASO?"
3. S/he will mention the CRIME. See chart for the list of common or usual crimes. If you are NOT an offender, inform the law enforcer that you are not committing a crime.
4. If you can, GET THE NAME of the law enforcer and his/her precinct number. This is for your personal security. Remember that some hold-uppers or kidnappers sometimes disguise themselves as law enforcers.
5. Before going with the law enforcer, INFORM AT LEAST THREE OTHER PERSONS. If possible, have them take a photo of you and the law enforcer.
6. Under the 2002 Philippine National Police (PNP) Operational Procedure, remember that
a. WARNING SHOTS ARE NOT ALLOWED in police interventions;
b. MEDIA PRESENTATION OF ARRESTED PERSONS IS GENERALLY NOT ALLOWED except for heinous crime, arrests with warrants, and arrests incident to a valid search; and
c. UNDERCOVER AGENTS MUST CARRY WITH THEM THEIR MISSION SLIP.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
when its time to end the relationship
a forum thread in g4m asks: "what to do when your lover leaves you?" and "why are you still single?"
here's what i'd like to share about "loosing" someone you love thru a break up...
make sure you have friends and friends make sure that you are there for each other... when a friend's relationship ends, buy him a gift... go out on a date with your friend. have a pajama party where he can cry his heart out...
and friend, wag mong iisiping mapag-iisa ka na sakaling iwanan ka ng taong mahal mo. never think that you invested anything because you did not, you simply treated him as you think someone in love should. dapat kasi sa relationship (pagkakamali ko din ito before), never think in terms of panahong sinayang or ininvest... never think that it was your fault. never think that it was anybody's fault. when its time for two persons to part ways, be they lovers, friends or families, nothing can stop them from leaving... parting ways can mean many things, but mostly for you to learn about the meeting, the once in a lifetime encounter, the lessons... it is also the chance for you to take new paths... when someone you love leaves, it should never be negative, but a positive development...
this is really hard. like yesterday i just broke up with someone ( he said he is confused about his feelings at the moment and too sorry to see me in the meantime and is asking if we can be friends muna)...
but because i made a paradigm shift and took a new perspective in life, the ritual of breaking up or off is not as painful and as too dramatic...
its partly sad and partly scary... but i trust that something good is coming my way...
it was always like that... you will soon find out...
here's what i'd like to share about "loosing" someone you love thru a break up...
make sure you have friends and friends make sure that you are there for each other... when a friend's relationship ends, buy him a gift... go out on a date with your friend. have a pajama party where he can cry his heart out...
and friend, wag mong iisiping mapag-iisa ka na sakaling iwanan ka ng taong mahal mo. never think that you invested anything because you did not, you simply treated him as you think someone in love should. dapat kasi sa relationship (pagkakamali ko din ito before), never think in terms of panahong sinayang or ininvest... never think that it was your fault. never think that it was anybody's fault. when its time for two persons to part ways, be they lovers, friends or families, nothing can stop them from leaving... parting ways can mean many things, but mostly for you to learn about the meeting, the once in a lifetime encounter, the lessons... it is also the chance for you to take new paths... when someone you love leaves, it should never be negative, but a positive development...
this is really hard. like yesterday i just broke up with someone ( he said he is confused about his feelings at the moment and too sorry to see me in the meantime and is asking if we can be friends muna)...
but because i made a paradigm shift and took a new perspective in life, the ritual of breaking up or off is not as painful and as too dramatic...
its partly sad and partly scary... but i trust that something good is coming my way...
it was always like that... you will soon find out...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Do M2M Relationships Last?
A survey in one of the forums in the site guys4men asks: "Do M2M Relationships Last?"
Read the responses and most of them declare no, not for the Filipino queer community. It doesn't. Well, actually, nobody really mentioned Filipino. The answers were all in the general sense that all man to man or gay relationships don't last.
I itched to give my insights on the matter, so here goes:
"i think ang dapat na itanong ay ANO ANG UGALI NG PINOY KUNG BAKIT SA MGA BAKLA AY HINDI NAGTATAGAL ANG M2M RELATIONSHIP?
Kasi nababasa ko sa ibang bansa, for life talaga ang mga relasyon. Sa kanila malaki ang weight ng pagiging faithful and loyal.
Sa atin, masaya ka pa kapag tinawag kang putang bakla. Ang kaibigan nating ahas hindi din naman natin kinakastigo. Kakantiyawan lang tapos okay na.
Meron pa din naman sigurong m2m na nagtatagal at magtatagal pero kailangan alam ng dalawang parties na kahit anong mangyari, kapag may darating at darating na ibang taong dibersyon ay hayaan na lang nilang dumaan ito sa buhay nila. Pero maging totoo sila at huwag magsisinungaling or pagtatakpan ng mga kung anu-ano. Kung biglang may iba kang crush na iba eh sabihin sa lover and the lover must not take it against you nor take it as because he is being inadequate or becoming less attractive.
Now, kaya nagtatagal ay dahil pinaninindigan niyo ang isa't-isa. Tandaan na madaming darating sa buhay ng bawat isa. So dont force it. You can't stop them, ang mga taong may mga kakaunting mensahe at misyong dala sa buhay mo. Pero manindigan kayo ng lover or partner mo na sinuman ang dumating, kayong dalawa ay hindi maghihiwalay or matitinag dahil magiging totoo kayo sa isa't-isa.
Wag ikukumpara ang bagong dating sa dati mo nang mahal. Lagi namang hindi pantay yan kasi kani-kaniyang strengths and weaknesses. But if you compare, it will not be fair to the former lover because for sure, dahil you are more interested with the new one, the comparison will most likely be in favor of the new guy.
Understand that even feelings of love can pass specially when the honeymoon stage is over. Sometimes, one in the couple will be out of it earlier than the other. You have to deal with this cautiously. You may not be "in love" but you still love him. This is what stays: "just love".
And when a new romance comes, acknowledge but never leave your partner behind. Maybe make him a part of the process you are going through. This will hurt but he will trust you more because you are truthful and open. This way, your lover will not be left in the dark and will know what to do. If he throws up a tantrum, leaves you, then his concept of love is that he owns you. If he stays with you and becomes your friend, your most intimate friend, then he shows you that he loves you so much that even when your love fades, his stays and nurtures you in the new path your heart is taking. Who knows, when and if you are mature enough, you will know that even the new romance will fade. You will soon get through it and then you will realize that the relationship you had which has withstood time is the best for you and the one that truly makes you happy. Because you have been honest and truthful right from the start, going back to the relationship will not be difficult. Your lover knows you just had a phase.
This is very difficult. Because what it your love for your present partner is really gone? Then it will be a totally different story. Again, if you are truthful and shares your feelings, insights and even fears with your lover who should be your best friend, coming to terms with the fact that your path as partners now have to part will be less painful, less dramatic, less all the hassles of a bitter romance.
Know that everyone who comes into your life has a mission as well as you have a mission to them. And when that mission is fulfilled or over, then the crossing of your paths reveal new roads to take..."
Read the responses and most of them declare no, not for the Filipino queer community. It doesn't. Well, actually, nobody really mentioned Filipino. The answers were all in the general sense that all man to man or gay relationships don't last.
I itched to give my insights on the matter, so here goes:
"i think ang dapat na itanong ay ANO ANG UGALI NG PINOY KUNG BAKIT SA MGA BAKLA AY HINDI NAGTATAGAL ANG M2M RELATIONSHIP?
Kasi nababasa ko sa ibang bansa, for life talaga ang mga relasyon. Sa kanila malaki ang weight ng pagiging faithful and loyal.
Sa atin, masaya ka pa kapag tinawag kang putang bakla. Ang kaibigan nating ahas hindi din naman natin kinakastigo. Kakantiyawan lang tapos okay na.
Meron pa din naman sigurong m2m na nagtatagal at magtatagal pero kailangan alam ng dalawang parties na kahit anong mangyari, kapag may darating at darating na ibang taong dibersyon ay hayaan na lang nilang dumaan ito sa buhay nila. Pero maging totoo sila at huwag magsisinungaling or pagtatakpan ng mga kung anu-ano. Kung biglang may iba kang crush na iba eh sabihin sa lover and the lover must not take it against you nor take it as because he is being inadequate or becoming less attractive.
Now, kaya nagtatagal ay dahil pinaninindigan niyo ang isa't-isa. Tandaan na madaming darating sa buhay ng bawat isa. So dont force it. You can't stop them, ang mga taong may mga kakaunting mensahe at misyong dala sa buhay mo. Pero manindigan kayo ng lover or partner mo na sinuman ang dumating, kayong dalawa ay hindi maghihiwalay or matitinag dahil magiging totoo kayo sa isa't-isa.
Wag ikukumpara ang bagong dating sa dati mo nang mahal. Lagi namang hindi pantay yan kasi kani-kaniyang strengths and weaknesses. But if you compare, it will not be fair to the former lover because for sure, dahil you are more interested with the new one, the comparison will most likely be in favor of the new guy.
Understand that even feelings of love can pass specially when the honeymoon stage is over. Sometimes, one in the couple will be out of it earlier than the other. You have to deal with this cautiously. You may not be "in love" but you still love him. This is what stays: "just love".
And when a new romance comes, acknowledge but never leave your partner behind. Maybe make him a part of the process you are going through. This will hurt but he will trust you more because you are truthful and open. This way, your lover will not be left in the dark and will know what to do. If he throws up a tantrum, leaves you, then his concept of love is that he owns you. If he stays with you and becomes your friend, your most intimate friend, then he shows you that he loves you so much that even when your love fades, his stays and nurtures you in the new path your heart is taking. Who knows, when and if you are mature enough, you will know that even the new romance will fade. You will soon get through it and then you will realize that the relationship you had which has withstood time is the best for you and the one that truly makes you happy. Because you have been honest and truthful right from the start, going back to the relationship will not be difficult. Your lover knows you just had a phase.
This is very difficult. Because what it your love for your present partner is really gone? Then it will be a totally different story. Again, if you are truthful and shares your feelings, insights and even fears with your lover who should be your best friend, coming to terms with the fact that your path as partners now have to part will be less painful, less dramatic, less all the hassles of a bitter romance.
Know that everyone who comes into your life has a mission as well as you have a mission to them. And when that mission is fulfilled or over, then the crossing of your paths reveal new roads to take..."
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