Do M2M Relationships Last?

A survey in one of the forums in the site guys4men asks: "Do M2M Relationships Last?"

Read the responses and most of them declare no, not for the Filipino queer community. It doesn't. Well, actually, nobody really mentioned Filipino. The answers were all in the general sense that all man to man or gay relationships don't last.

I itched to give my insights on the matter, so here goes:

"i think ang dapat na itanong ay ANO ANG UGALI NG PINOY KUNG BAKIT SA MGA BAKLA AY HINDI NAGTATAGAL ANG M2M RELATIONSHIP?

Kasi nababasa ko sa ibang bansa, for life talaga ang mga relasyon. Sa kanila malaki ang weight ng pagiging faithful and loyal.

Sa atin, masaya ka pa kapag tinawag kang putang bakla. Ang kaibigan nating ahas hindi din naman natin kinakastigo. Kakantiyawan lang tapos okay na.

Meron pa din naman sigurong m2m na nagtatagal at magtatagal pero kailangan alam ng dalawang parties na kahit anong mangyari, kapag may darating at darating na ibang taong dibersyon ay hayaan na lang nilang dumaan ito sa buhay nila. Pero maging totoo sila at huwag magsisinungaling or pagtatakpan ng mga kung anu-ano. Kung biglang may iba kang crush na iba eh sabihin sa lover and the lover must not take it against you nor take it as because he is being inadequate or becoming less attractive.

Now, kaya nagtatagal ay dahil pinaninindigan niyo ang isa't-isa. Tandaan na madaming darating sa buhay ng bawat isa. So dont force it. You can't stop them, ang mga taong may mga kakaunting mensahe at misyong dala sa buhay mo. Pero manindigan kayo ng lover or partner mo na sinuman ang dumating, kayong dalawa ay hindi maghihiwalay or matitinag dahil magiging totoo kayo sa isa't-isa.

Wag ikukumpara ang bagong dating sa dati mo nang mahal. Lagi namang hindi pantay yan kasi kani-kaniyang strengths and weaknesses. But if you compare, it will not be fair to the former lover because for sure, dahil you are more interested with the new one, the comparison will most likely be in favor of the new guy.

Understand that even feelings of love can pass specially when the honeymoon stage is over. Sometimes, one in the couple will be out of it earlier than the other. You have to deal with this cautiously. You may not be "in love" but you still love him. This is what stays: "just love".

And when a new romance comes, acknowledge but never leave your partner behind. Maybe make him a part of the process you are going through. This will hurt but he will trust you more because you are truthful and open. This way, your lover will not be left in the dark and will know what to do. If he throws up a tantrum, leaves you, then his concept of love is that he owns you. If he stays with you and becomes your friend, your most intimate friend, then he shows you that he loves you so much that even when your love fades, his stays and nurtures you in the new path your heart is taking. Who knows, when and if you are mature enough, you will know that even the new romance will fade. You will soon get through it and then you will realize that the relationship you had which has withstood time is the best for you and the one that truly makes you happy. Because you have been honest and truthful right from the start, going back to the relationship will not be difficult. Your lover knows you just had a phase.

This is very difficult. Because what it your love for your present partner is really gone? Then it will be a totally different story. Again, if you are truthful and shares your feelings, insights and even fears with your lover who should be your best friend, coming to terms with the fact that your path as partners now have to part will be less painful, less dramatic, less all the hassles of a bitter romance.

Know that everyone who comes into your life has a mission as well as you have a mission to them. And when that mission is fulfilled or over, then the crossing of your paths reveal new roads to take..."

available in your video shops soon

we deliver but there is a p100 charge that goes to the delivery boy for his trouble
you may contact 09208619880

Why every indie filmmaker and every indie enthusiast should watch Judy Ann Santos'

Initially, na-off ako nang ang unang nabasa kong stance about the "Ploning" movie was that Juday allegedly said its not an indie movie. Pero buti na lang it was later on corrected as to the context of what she meant when she said those.

"Ploning" is an independently produced digital film and to know that it is a story that has been in its Director Dante's heart and mind for years is to see how dreams can be realized in independent movie making rather than in mainstream cinema filmmaking.

Considering that it has a mainstream cinema celebrity actress in the lead role (Judy Ann Santos), the project is a milestone in the way it is being marketed and we, the "independents" should react favorably by supporting it.

Politically, "Ploning" is finally drawing attention to the independent cinema industry with the much publicized presence of Juday as co-producer. This is a signal now to other celebrities or personalities of stellar status that perhaps hindi na sila dapat magsiksikan sa sumisikip na ma-rigodong mundo ng over-rated television. This medium where I come from and where I still work on semi-regular basis needs attention din because while it is flourishing, the materials are becoming more nakaka-bobo, in terms of content. But tv is another story. And going back, Judy Ann investin her talent and money in an independent movie signals to other stars that perhaps its time to take a second look at the independent cinema industry? Perhaps there maybe a renewed interest by the public to this "mas nirerespeto nilang indie movies" (than the mainstream movies). IF THE MOVIE MAKES GOOD SA BOX OFFICE, DEFINITELY THE OTHER STARS WILL KNOW ITS TIME...

Another point is the way it is being publicized where both abs and gma seem to be giving "Ploning" airtime so that Juday can promote and inform the Filipino tv audience. IF THE MOVIE MAKES IT, SM CINEMA AND ROBINSONS WILL KNOW THAT A FACTOR WHERE THEY SHOULD INVEST INTO IS TO HELP POOR INDIES PROMOTE sa TV. I remember my second indie movie "Bathhouse" which had the then S Files of GMA 7 and another talk show program in ABS CBN feature John Sweet Lapus and Jet Alcantara and the very short airtime I got helped "Bathhouse" become an standing room only for every screening schedule for the entire week of screening in 2005, when indie was not yet that popular.

Of course, ang mahirap is if the "clueless" mainstream cinema decision makers credit the movie just to the "presence" of Juday (clueless talaga sila kasi wala naman tayong strategist talaga sa mainstream cinema at puro tayo art film critics walang economist/business point of view na critic). Palagay ko, the Juday factor happens on the first day. Pero ang susunod na mga araw ay may factor na din ng "word of mouth" tulad ng sa Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros noon.

Imagine if movie stars begin asking for indie movie projects, and then another set of stars telling us they will invest funds in our movie projects... and imagine if SM and Robinsons will add to their deal some television airtime? I hope these cinemas do not forget that other indie movies with non-celebrity status actors made it to the box office as well.

"Ploning" is a very positive project and is a milestone in the history of Philippine indie cinema industry. I pray it achieves the producers' and the actress's goals and those other paths and doors that it will open to the less fortunate or less funded or less starred-in indie endeavors bring us further to the forthcoming golden age of indie cinema.

join our group of indie cinema enthusiasts

alt="Click here to join Pinoyindiecinema" />
Click to join Pinoyindiecinema

enrollment for indie movie acting workshp n indie acting workshop

Gusto mo ba mag-artista sa indie movies?
enroll na sa sinehan indie movie acting
workshop and act in two short films and
one full length as your graduation
project... kukuha pa kami at gagastos sa
celebrities bilang kapareha niyo...

classes start third week of april, m-w-f
from 5pm to 9pm but can be adjusted if
most of the students are coming from
work. 12-15 sessions, ull face the
camera every session and be critiqued.

workshop fee is only p6,000. u can get
ur own sponsors if u can, to finance ur fee.

come to unit 401 wil-vic construction
building 2, 96 v luna road extension,
barangay sikatuna, diliman, quezon city

INDIE MOVIE PRODUCTION WORKSHOP FOR STUDENTS

Learn the art, craft and business of
indie movie production from the
strategist himself, cris pablo, with
other directors and producers as speakers.

ull be making short films and produce a
full length movie at the end of the
workshop. We will provide the equipment.

contact 09294703059 or 09234796804 or
9720474.

Oh My High School Life!

Imagine after more than twenty years, you see them again and they are seeing you, in all that you have become; yet they seem to see the more innocent version of you; then they tell you how you have never aged and you tell them as well; or perhaps because as far as you can remember, here are the remnants of the times when you were still wonderful, and here are the people who appreciates you (in media you are quite wary of people praising you and lambasting you because you know everyone has a hidden agenda)... And everyone is just happy to see each other and to be with one another. One came all the way from Canada, another from Australia, and some from our beloved home province of La Union...

Ahhh, I pretended that night not to care... but I guess we all felt we really cared for and loved each other...

With me that night were Liwliwa Lachica, Namnama Lachica, Ronaldo Hufana, Clarissa Arcangel, Irene Dario and David Caloza... Missed our other close friends Resalie Rivera, Deborah Borja, Dionisio Alcantara, Elwyn Biazon...

Of course, Edward Aradanas, Mario Andrade, Jerry Estoque, ahhh, the names...

IN 1986, a month after the February Edsa Revolution that divided some of us in our high school barkada in the northern province of La Union, our section Rizal, the pilot section, graduated, all 40 plus of us, along with around a thousand other fourth year students of La Union National High School.

after more than 20 years (batch 1986) , we meet again
in Dad's at Glorietta, Makati (2008 Feb)

I never felt any melancholy at that time, probably because I was so excited with much my anticipated entrance to the University of the Philippines Institute of Mass Communications (which is now a college) where I was to major in Broadcast Communications.

I didn't take the marching up the stage seriously anymore, because, finally, it was over. Didn't have to prove anything anymore. I placed, as I expected and fought for, third, or first honorable mention of the graduating class. In our campus, that meant you were the third most studious or intelligent or simply most stupid to have lived by the rules and even pleased too many "live-by-the-rule" teachers to merit recognition.

Our valedictorian was David Caloza. He was in LUNHS section 1 from first year while the salutatorian Edward Aradanas came around third year. That was the same year I got promoted to section 1 after finishing my second year in section 3.

David Caloza (left) and the wannabe author, me

My first year was in Ateneo de Manila high school at Katipunan, Loyola Heights, in 1982. I transferred to La Union National High School because, well, I wanted to live with my mom and sister in La Union and because of one person. I don't know if he is still alive today.

To be honest, my high school life was very innocent but very dark. Imagine a sad talented young man who is left alone in the house with all the rotten books to read, only three television stations to switch on to, one fm station to listen to, and no one to speak with in the neighborhood.

I only came alive whenever I was in school. And not everyone was happy about it.

My closest friends were David and Edward with Liwliwa, our third honorable mention classmate-friend, as a respectable pal who would mediate whenever we had squabbles, all 11 plus of us, rowdy, self centered teenagers.

Clarisa was our fashion conscious muse with Resalie as the equally pretty spunky member while Liw and Nam, like twin sisters (but one is actually a year older) were our sweetest faced. Our "Manang Biday" type of dusky beauty was Deborah and Irene was the intellectual.

Then there's Dionisio who sings classic Filipino songs all afternoon before and after class, Ronaldo who did alot of funny antics that by now he would not have remembered, and Elwyn, who was really sweet.

At that time there were no pagers, no mobiles phones, no internet, and yes, even the land phone was a luxury only the elite could afford. Well, David had a phone at home, I think.

Our gimmicks were mostly school related activities but we managed to organize parties in line with our co-corricular events.

I enjoyed those sleep-overs and those trips out of town to attend week-long seminars.

We won some top awards too, except that whenever I qualified for a national level competition, I secretly chickened out and backed out or did something so that I would not win and be recognized. I guess I was scared of something or someone back then. It was a family secret, someone I hoped would not find us. I hope that person is already six feet under by now... No I won't write about that person here.

Anyway, those were still the best years of my life!

LONG TIME COMPANIONS

Born last October 2007, she will be my long time companion, Duda's sister...

I named her Tupah because she's like a sheep... When she is trying to get my attention, she gives a sweet unannoying cry, like a small child who is cautious the neighbors might be disturbed...

TUPAH, my toy poodle, 4 months

Tupah is very friendly and trusting. She never barks except during her play or role-playing game where she lets out quite a mouthful...

I think she is a stage actress in her former life as she has very expressive and soulful eyes.

Duda, mini-schnauzer, 3 years old

Way back in 2005, when I was being beaten and battered emotionally and physically by my then partner, I thought of having a dog as a pet. I thought back then that my partner wouldn't stay long since we always fought. I tried and fought very hard to keep him but eventually i woke up. It was a rollercoaster ride.

Duda turns 1 year old, 2005, ungroomed

One day, against my partner's wishes, I went to a village in Marikina and bought Shadow, a three month old female mini-schnauzer. We immediately connected and when I brought her home, my partner was just as enamored.

I named her Duda because that was my first commercially released full length movie.

It took three years before I finally decided to have a stud for Duda (we talked about it and it seemed that Duda was finally open to the idea).

I paid "stud services" only to find out three months later that it was a false pregnancy. The vet said Duda may have been too fat.

So I asked my brother-in-law Romy to walk her everyday.

Duda now lives with my mom and sister in our newly bought house in Bulacan (my gift for Mama).